Bio-Mechanics Cycles & Repairs E.News
WE THREE BI-O-MECHANISTS ARE, BEARING SPANNERS WE TRAVEL NOT FAR...
In This Issue
Ideas for under the tree
Get contoured at a discount
Back by Popular Demand...
Also not recommended: this.

Inspired by some interesting* bikes we've had through the workshop lately, we figured it was time for a sequel to 8 Easy Ways to Ruin Your Bike. (See November 08 on the e.newsletter archive page if you didn't catch it the first time.) Thus, we present:

 
10 More Easy Ways to Ruin Your Bike!

1. If you don't have any actual chain oil, just use whatever you can find. Linseed oil is a great option, with fish oil as a handy back-up. As a bonus, your drivetrain will hardly make any noise because of all of the extra gummy padding, and your bike mechanic will love you forever.

2. When your drivetrain does eventually give up the will to live, just replace the chain. Sure, it won't really work properly and you'll wear it out in forty seconds flat, but it makes more sense to replace one part a bunch of times than a whole bunch of parts at once, right?

3. Are your spokes incredibly tight but you just want to give them a bit of extra 'oomph'? Then get out the vice grips and get to work!

4. In these drought-stricken times, your bamboo frame is likely to split. This can be fixed by putting a piece of electrical tape over the crack.

5. Don't worry about replacing your worn brake pads; you'll go faster without them. As a side bonus, they'll start to work again once the piston works its way through the backing plate.

6.  Some cracks in carbon are purely structural and designed to strengthen the frame's integrity. Other cracks actually make you faster. They're called 'speed cracks'. If, however, they are bothering you, they too can be fixed with a piece of electrical tape.

7. A high-pressure hose will clean your bike extremely well -- inside and out! Make sure you aim it hard at your forks to get water past the seals.

8. Rust is merely a natural part of the life cycle of metal, and should be embraced.

9. The residue from sports drinks and power gels will give you extra grip if you ever need to cling to the top tube in an emergency.

9. If you never replace your bar tape or grips. you'll always have a handy salt lick should you get marooned in the wilderness.

10. If you love the distressed French provincial look (and who doesn't?) a similar effect can be achieved by leaving your bike outside in the rain for several months. Voila! You will be the toast of the cafe set. Trs bien!

* Yes, 'interesting' is the nicest way we can put it. 
Dear Subscriber, 

December: it comes like a seasonal juggernaut, flinging baubles and candy canes at unsuspecting shoppers, and leaving the faintest whiff of spiced rum in its wake. If you fear its thundering approach, take heart with BMCR's Tips on Coping with the Holiday Season:

1. Shop early;
2. Ignore all non-essential parties;
3. Go for a cleansing bike ride;
4. Drink;
5. Cry in the shower where no-one can hear you;

and repeat until January 2nd. While we can't help with the drinking (much as we'd like to; ask us again on December 23rd), we can help with the shopping via our easy Gift Finder below! Feeling like ensnaring a Christmas bargain for yourself, too? Don't forget to check out your exclusive e.newsletter special as well. Happy shopping... and happy holidays!
BMCR's Handy Gift Finder
Buying for fellow bike riders? Hoping to get gifts you'll actually enjoy this year instead of the new Bob Dylan Christmas album (possibly both the worst and best present ever)? Help is at hand... And if you're still in a lather of indecision afterwards, a BMCR Gift Voucher will take all the pain away. :-)

Gifts under $50
While you can't disguise their shape when they're wrapped, books are always a sure-fire option. The easy-to-read information and big shiny pictures in Mastering"Sir? Your kit looks a bit... oh, right. Sorry." Mountain Bike Skills ($40) and Cycling Anatomy ($37) will keep even the most reluctant reader entertained. If you know someone who's too old to believe in Santa but who still wishes for a handy guide to improve their skillz, Cycling Past 50 ($32) is a Known for performance, not looks. Like Phillip Seymour Hoffman.popular choice. (But make sure you're giving it to someone who's actually over 50 or you could end up having a very frosty Christmas.) Gift recipient not likely to crack a cover? Then consider the superb ESI grips ($45), whose "Happy holidays! Your chain is driving us nuts."non-slip comfort comes highly recommended by both Pete and Andrew, or a Big Freaking Bottle of Rock 'n' Roll Gold ($39.50) because nothing says 'Merry Christmas' like chain lube.

Gifts under $100
Light up someone's life, albeit blindingly, with the Planet Bike Superflash series! Visible from over 1.5 kilometres away (particularly handy during this time of year when people seem to lose the ability to drive -- Superflash: light up the road like a Christmas tree.even more so) and super-easy to install, choose from the half-watt combo pack ($75), one-watt combo back ($95), half-watt rear ($39.50), one-watt front ($65) or even do a sneaky upgrade to the brand new two-watt Blaze frontPerformance: may not make you faster, will make you sexier. light ($88). It is not recommended, however, to deck your halls or the front of your house with Superflashes, unless you're trying to bring down light aircraft or induce epilepsy in your neighbours. Something with less battery power What's the male version of 'sassy'? 'Zesty'?required? We've got Fox Performance jerseys on special ($72, down from $90) plus the delightful Vaude 3/4 Bodman pants ($95), just right for cruising to a barbecue on a summer's eve and then weaving home through the backstreets to avoid the breathos. Who needs trouser clips? Not you, that's for darn sure!

Gifts under $200
Why not introduce a loved one (or yourself) to the joy of leather? (No, not that way. Geez, people.) Brooks saddles have been around for over a "Do you have it in black?" "For the last time, YES!"century and a half because they a) are brilliant and b) last forever if you look after them. No other saddle moulds to your body shape, and no other saddle is this Face cropped to protect the fabulous.comfortable, we promise! We've got the classic B17, including the Special and Aged versions, as well as the sprung Flyer and B67 if you're looking for some suspension on your ride. Has your beloved already got a Brooks saddle? Then they'd love the extra-special limited edition Brooks L'Eroica jersey! Ooh, it's lovely. Made from 100% merino wool, it'll keep you warm when it's cold, and has a nickel-plated zip plus three button pockets in the back. One must also acknowledge its fabulous Retro Stylings. Behold!
Lycra... now with added POWER!
Long-time readers may remember Bellwether knicks as the ones which we sold out of after comparing them to Your muscles will love you, and so will the people who ride behind youbody shaping underwear. (We have yet to apply this comparison to other products and see if we get the same results...) Anyway, why not try the Bellwether Force for yourself, and at 10% off this month?

In addition to its superior wicking properties and compression-material fit, the Force knicks and shorts feature a high-quality four-way stretch chamois,Wick that torso! Etc. flat-locked seams to eliminate bumps, a silicon leg gripper, and Lycra POWER (according to the tech sheet). All we know is that it translates to durable, comfortable knicky goodness. Normally $109, for December all stocked knicks are $98 while the shorts are $90, down from $100.
And that's the last e.newsletter for this year! Ah, 2009. We started you with 16-hour days, bikes up to our armpits, and the need for a time machine. We ended you with a brilliant new addition to the workshop, 12-hour days, and, er, bikes up to our armpits and the need for a time machine. Baby steps, people, baby steps...

We hope you all keep well over the festive season. Keep an eye out for eggnog-fueled driving erraticisms, and stay safe, y'all.

Cheers!

Pete, Lia & Andrew
Bio-Mechanics Cycles & Repairs
More excited about breaking the 100-fan milestone on Facebook than we probably should be.
Deck the halls with cogs and chain rings, fa la la la la la, la la la la....