|
| Meet Mr. Blum |
 |
Some say he was born from an egg on a mountain top. We prefer to think he sprung fully formed from the head of Zeus. Regardless of origin, he's now installed at BMCR, being tutored in Pete's Dark Mechanical Arts (P.D.M.A.) by day and haunting health food shops by night. Say hello to the new third of Bio-Mechanics's staff: Andy!
So, Andy, tell us about yourself!
*Andy promptly looks terrified*
OK, let's start smaller. What's your riding style?
Huckin', freeridin', downhillin', townhillin', dirt jumpin', and, yeah, I guess XC and road bike.
And whatcha riding?
A sweet Sintessi roadie and a super-sweet Commençal Meta 55 (which shall be all mine in a few more weeks. At the moment, I only own the wheels and top tube). Can I mention that I really hate talking about myself?
You can, but it won't help. Favourite bike riding loop?
Um...I do kinda dig going for a lap around the quarry on the XC bike; that's kinda fun. And anywhere where I have to wait for Stuart to catch up because then I get lots of rest stops. Sorry, Stuart!
So why did you want to work at Bio-Mechanics?
I like the work ethic and ethos of the shop, and what your ideas are about. It was either this or Super Elliots, and then I would have had to kill myself.
How did you get to where you are today?
Awesomeness. Lots of it.
Let's be more specific: any particular qualifications? Strange jobs? Odd hobbies?
Do Certificates of Audio Engineering or Associate Diplomas in Music count?
Not really.
I have over 800 CDs and can play the piano, guitar, and organ, plus make lots of awesome organ-related jokes; what about that?
Nope.
School of Pete?
There you go. Hey, can you tell us about the time you turned orange on a raw food diet?
I keep telling you not to bring that up.
Fine. What do you want to be when you grow up? Taller. And less ridiculously good looking.
And yet you're somehow single.
One at a time, ladies.
One at a time.
It's great!
Um... can you stop hitting me now?
No.
That's all we can tell you until you meet him for yourself. And if you ask nicely, he may do his excellent Bruce Dickinson impression. ("Waaaaaaaaaiiiiiiii!!!!") | |
|
|
|
|
Dear Subscriber,
Something's afoot. The signs are nigh: Pete almost plunged off a cliff during a MTB ride; Shimano orders have been uncharacteristically slow; Lance's Kryptonite turned out to be Spain, of all things; BMCR has an employee... "Wait, whoa -- what?" say our loyal readers. Yes, you read correctly: due to an ever-increasing stream of new customers who are sick of being jerked around by other bike shops (and a desire for Pete to see his 36th birthday), we realised the inevitable could be postponed no longer, and thus our staff has increased by 50%*.
"But we don't like change! It makes us twitchy!" you say. Fear not, gentle peeps: BMCR's trademark mechanical attention to detail and devoted customer service will not alter one iota. In fact, the only real change will be that we can now get more bikes through the workshop. Plus Pete now has someone else to make fun of. (Wait, scrap that last bit.) You can read about our new addition to the left, and about other new (less animated) additions below.
Plus a special. Always with the specials.
* To three, for those less numerically gifted. |
 |
The bikes, they are multiplying |
I guess if we're slapping you around the face with  changes to our shop, this would be a good time to throw in the fact that we've taken on three more boutique bike brands. Yes, in addition to Commençal, you can now sate your bike-related desires with streetwise Surly, sassy Salsa, and... er... klassy KHS bikes! Our first batch of bikes comprises steel fixies (Surly Steamrollers, perfect for whipping along the street or  track, and competition-level track KHS Flite 100s) and KHS commuters for every taste: the Urban Xtreme, with a steel frame and carbon fork; the single-speed Urban Uno, which features funky alloy fenders and a sweet anodised chain-ring; the  Green, ideal for newbies as it comes complete with everything from racks to a rear wheel lock; the folding Mocha, because, let's face it, we had a "WTF?" moment; and the TR 101 tourer, built for carrying heavy stuff long distances. (Emotional baggage doesn't count.)
Want to build up your own Surly or Salsa? Contact us for frame pricing! More bike info will be on our soon-to-be-revamped website shortly. ("Stop changing stuff! We need consistency!" shriek half our subscribers. "Wha?" say the other half, looking up from their Penguin Classics. "Oh, never mind. God," comes the reply, followed by a door slamming in the distance.) |
|
Boots for your foots |
If you've ever had a bad pair of bike shoes, you'll understand the special kind of misery that only ill-fitting footwear can bring. Let BMCR be your podiatric  panacea! New to the shop (I know, I know; it's the last one, I promise) are Northwave bike shoes: technologically advanced, orthopaedically designed, and providing features such as the Ultra Y heel retention system (to keep your foot in a more natural position  while riding), 3D Power Cage (to protect and stabilise the foot, even in rough terrain, and to battle Gladiators, presumably) and the S.B.S. (step-by-step...oh, dear -- unwelcome New Kids on the Block flashback descending... the overalls! The hair! My brain!... OK, I'm back) closure system for quick and  precise adjustment, these shoes are both wallet- and feet-friendly.
For roadies, we've got the Aerlite 3 and Vertigo (S.B.S. or standard) shoesshoes while dirt junkies can dither between the Aerlite MTB S.B.S., Raptor S.B.S., or  Spike versions. BMCR customer Stuart raves about his new Raptors (" fantastic heel support, great stiffness in the sole, and I love the customisable fit - I'm never wearing Specialized shoes ever again!") and we're sure you will, too. (Rave, that is.) |
|
Lock on and lock down |
What better way to celebrate the beginning of the MTB racing season than to offer our e.news subscribers 15% off all lock-on grips in stock for April?  Well, sure, you could celebrate with beer and a blow-out barbecue where everybody sits around and rehashes their latest dirt adventure until their long-suffering spouse either falls asleep or leaves, but we prefer to offer you stuff that actually helps you ride better*.
So, what's the advantage of lock-ons? 1) Non-slip performance. 2) You can change grips according to  your riding conditions. 3) Non-slip performance. 4) You don't have to destroy a pair of grips if you want to change brakes/gear levers. 5) Non-slip performance. (Did we mention that already? You've got to admit it's pretty important.) So celebrate the renewal of the delightful marriage of dirt and pain that is XC/DH racing, and take your pick of Yeti, Odi Ruffian, Oury, or Sunlines at 15% off!
*And, no, beer still doesn't count. |
|
OK, that's probably enough for this month; you may need time to assimilate. Remember: if you have any queries or feedback, or just want to give us random gifts, we want to hear from you. (Particularly if the gifts are edible.)
Keep riding, and stay safe.
Cheers,
Pete & Lia (& Andy!)
Bio-Mechanics Cycles & Repairs
Slayers of bottom bracket squeaks, bringers of dreams | |
|
|